let me live before you die
by Cynthia03
Summary: Milah and Emma talk and then Captain Swan Cobra sends Milah away into the light (I suck at summaries lol) (But lots of feels!)
Emma couldn't decide what described her situation the best right now – weird, strange, or awkward.

She felt Henry nudge her shoulder and turned towards him, her not so little boy anymore offering her a supporting smile. She returned it and brought her arm around his shoulder, still not used to him being almost her height.

Emma had spent hours listening to Killian talk about Milah one night on the Jolly, starting with a grin on his face which later turned into a sad smile – about her bravery, how she fought side by side with him, the way she commanded the crew around with a no-nonsense attitude, the way she sometimes cried with her face buried in his neck and Bae's scarf in her hands, _everything_.

"This is where Rumple is bringing Killian" the other woman spoke as they halted at the edge of the docks. She turned towards mother and son, her gaze assessing.

Yeah, awkward was the right word.

Emma nodded, swaying slightly on her heels as she stared at the ground, unsure of what to do. Out of all the people, Gold or well Rumplestilstkin, the man Killian hated the most and she mostly wanted to punch in the face was the one who was going to finally get her pirate free from Hades evil little hands. And this was all possible largely because of Milah – her ex's mother and her boyfriend's ex. _Oh_ _god._

She looked back at Milah who was already staring at her, and offered her a nervous smile that she returned, looking like she really wanted to ask something. Emma concurred she probably had a million questions after the dickish way Rumple introduced them, spewing in one sentence how Emma is not only Bae's ex- _lover_ (word choice Rumple god), and has a child with him as he pointed towards Henry who offered a wave of his hand and a _hi_ , but also is Killian's current lover.

Milah's eyes had shot up and she had gulped hard, throwing a shaky smile towards them and quickly setting about to start working.

Emma contemplated just saying something, _anything_ to her as they both stared at each other, both of them itching to talk but not knowing where to start. Thankfully, her freaking own Savior Henry sensed the awkwardness in the situation and took a step towards Milah, offering his hand once he was in front of her, "Hi grandma, I'm Henry"

Milah snorted in surprise, her hands flying to her chest before she took his hand. Emma saw a genuine smile lifting her lips as she shook it slightly. She was very pretty; Killian's words about her beauty did no justice to actually seeing her here.

"Henry. What a lovely name, lad" she said, Emma noticing Killian's vocabulary in her words, the effects of spending nearly a decade together.

"My other mom kept it after her father" he told her, and Milah's eyebrows furrowed.

"Other mother…"

"Regina, the former Evil Queen, we kind of co-parent him" Emma chimed in, moving to stand beside Henry and finally keeping her gaze steady with Milah.

"Oh" Milah nodded, her eyes drifting back to Henry as she cupped his cheek tentatively, but once Henry offered her a smile she smiled widely and said, "I can't believe Bae has a child. You have his eyes, Henry"

"Yeah" Emma nodded, not wishing to expand too much on _that_ history. There was no need for her to know about the abandonment and the fact that her son got to be a father for only a few weeks.

Henry and Milah warmed up to each other fairly quickly, Milah listening intently to her grandson telling her about himself and his life in Storybrooke. Once he got to the part of explaining her his family tree, Emma moved to sit on the bench at the docks, the exact replica of the bench in Storybrooke where she'd spent hours sitting with Killian and talking while they both took comfort in the sea and each other.

Emma tapped her foot on the ground as her heart pounded in her chest, quickly growing restless and not happy with the situation. Rumple had poofed away from in front of them after asking them head towards the docks where he'll bring Killian along. Maybe it was foolish to trust Rumple to go through with a deal, especially one involving the man he hated, but he seemed truly desperate to return home to his wife. Everything aside, Emma knew his love for Belle was true and that he would do anything to get back to her.

She stopped tapping her foot once Milah settled beside her on the bench, Henry's back to them as he stared towards the town.

Emma turned towards the woman, "Killian's told me a lot about you, you know"

Milah smiled, turning to look at her, "I hope he said good things or do I need to beat him up"

Emma huffed out a laugh, "Only good things, I promise." After taking a deep breath she continued, "He really loves you. When I first met him…he was so driven to avenge your death that he put himself in harm's way just so he could kill Gol-uh Rumplestilstkin and he'd being going at it for 300 years"

"So he's still a stubborn arse? Once he sets his mind on something…" Milah shook her head with a sad smile, "Once he gives his heart to someone…he is dedicated to them completely. I'm sure you know about Liam?"

Emma nodded, "His death sent him tumbling down a dark path"

"Aye. It was actually the night when he told me about Liam that I realized I was in love with him"

"Oh?" Emma asked, intrigued. It should feel weird hearing a woman talk about how she fell in love with her boyfriend, but it didn't. No one knew him better than Milah, maybe not even her – Milah had _years_ over her.

"He was this ruthless pirate, treating people badly and just plundering for gold, and all his cockiness and yelling and just…" she started, "But this one night I found him sitting in his quarters, his flask of rum empty, his head bowed and tears in his eyes"

Emma moved closer to the woman, not having heard this story from Killian.

"I kneeled down beside him and asked what had happened" she explained, "He was my Captain and he had only ever smirked at me or pass along an innuendo, not ever did I ever even imagine him with tears running down his cheeks" she said, a little smile on her face as if she was reminiscing the moment, "It was Liam's birthday. He spent the entire night telling me about his brother and I told him about Bae. Soon after, he fell asleep with his head in my lap. _That_ night I felt what love really was"

Emma took Milah's hand in hers, squeezing it lightly and offering her a smile as she saw the other woman's eyes shine with unshed tears.

"Enough about that!" Milah suddenly exclaimed, taking a deep breath, "Tell me – does he still hog the blankets and spreads half of his body on top of yours while sleeping?"

Emma laughed, "Oh yeah. I had to literally push him off of me sometimes when he was crushing me"

"But in the next moment –"

"- his arm and leg is once again over you, trapping you there"

Both women laughed heartily, exchanging little adorable things about the man they both love.

"And just before he makes love, he always fixes his hair!" Milah exclaimed, keeping her voice low so Henry doesn't hear.

Emma blushed furiously, remembering that Milah after all was a pirate and wouldn't be conservative or private about sex. But well there was another issue altogether with her.

"I don't…we haven't…I mean, we've done _some_ things…but not _that_ …we just never ...never the right time…" Emma stumbled, feeling her cheeks heat up.

Milah stared at her for a moment, her mouth agape, "Oh dear lord woman! What are you waiting for? You're missing out!"

"I…I know" Emma offered a shy smile mixed with a roll of her eyes. She was a bit shy to talk about sex with Killian to freaking Milah of all people (what even was her life?), but even more embarrassed that their hectic lives never gave them a chance to finally indulge in some enjoyable activities, along with them silently and mutually agreeing to wait.

Milah smiled at her teasingly before she suddenly softened and asked, "Does he have friends?"

"Friends?" Emma repeated.

"Aye, more people to care about him?" she elaborated, a smile forming on her lips. It sent a flutter of emotion through Emma - even in death, Milah cared so deeply about Killian's well-being.

"He's got family" Emma said firmly, "My father and him are always teasing each other and fighting about who's better at sword fighting, our friend Robin, a former thief whose company he enjoys. My mother, who makes sure he eats properly and tells him about her banditry days; Regina, the ex evil queen and Henry's other mother - they both pretend to hate each other, but kind of do like each other and need each other to practice their snark on. Henry, of course, they both go sailing on the Jolly Rodger after his school is over and then come pick me up; Tink, she's a fairy who he met while in Neverland. And Belle – she's, uh, she's Rumple's wife"

Milah nods, a wide smile on her face, "I'm glad." This time Milah takes her hand and squeezes, "And I'm glad he has _you_ "

Emma smiles, "I'm glad he had you. You taught him how to love."

Milah laughs at that, "Liam taught him how to love. I just rekindled that emotion in his heart. But you, you've made him change for the better, to give up the darkness and become the good man and hero he always was."

Emma felt a chocked sob in her throat as she gulped down her emotions.

"KILLIAN!" Emma and Milah both jolted towards Henry's scream. Emma stood up, and Killian was _there_ , all bruised and bloodied, leaning on Gold who surprisingly was actually supporting his weight and slowly walking him towards them. (Gold had a nasty, almost disgusting expression on his face, while Killian had an angry one judging from the stiff way his jaw was clenched – neither men liking their arrangement).

Emma felt her heart would burst out of all the emotions running through her as she watched Henry run towards Killian and throwing himself to him, Killian's arms coming around his shoulders.

~~xx~~

It was emotional as hell, pun intended.

The light was shining bright behind Milah, the place where she can _finally_ move on to after her unfinished business – making sure Killian was happy – was over.

She turned back towards the three of them – Killian and Emma standing together with her hand curled around his waist and Henry between them.

Henry walked up to her first, hugging her tight, "It was so nice to meet you, grandma"

Milah laughed at the title again, and ruffled his hair, "I'm so glad I got to meet you, Henry. Take care of your family, and never forget that you're a _hero._ "

Henry quickly hugged her once more before he turned back.

Emma smiled at Killian before she walked towards Milah, taking the woman's hands in her own, "Thank you Milah; for everything you've done now, and for loving him so truly and fiercely all those years"

Milah smiled sweetly, "I'm glad he's found someone so stubborn who marched into hell for him and can kick his arse when he's being unreasonable"

Both women laughed, throwing their heads back.

Milah breathed, "Be gentle with him Emma – don't let him loathe himself, he does that quite much"

"I won't" Emma said, the tears finally falling rapidly.

"Promise me you'll keep him happy, that you'll both be happy" Milah said, bringing her arms around Emma.

"I promise, Milah. You take care and be happy and at peace."

With a final squeeze to her hands, Emma walked back towards her boys. She nudged Killian's back softly, "Go."

He gulped hard and smiled sadly at her before he joined Milah at the ledge.

"I hear you're still quite the stubborn arse" Milah joked, taking his hand in hers and touching his hook tentatively before grasping the curved edge of it, her chest tightening at the thought of how much pain he'd endured because of her.

"Can you blame me?" Killian smirked, taking a step forward until their bodies almost touched, "Send Bae my regards."

"Aye, Captain."

Killian dropped his forehead to hers at her loving and teasing endearment, and then moved to hug her, burying his face in her hair as she grasped tightly, almost painfully at his back.

They separated after a while, their eyes shining with unshed tears.

Milah cupped his jaw, "Be happy, Killian. She truly loves you." Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now, "You've got a family, Killian, it's all you've ever wanted"

"Aye" he nodded, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek and brushing her tears away with his thumb, "Thank you, Milah"

She snorted, "You spent 300 years living like hell trying to avenge my death, and I spent 300 years in Hell waiting for you to finally be happy."

He laughed at that along with her. Indeed, how strange were their lives – so dark and bleak, yet only in the name of and because of love.

Milah brushed her fingers softly over the side of his face, "I love you." She walked backwards slowly, their hands still linked in the air in front of them as she grew closer towards the light.

Centuries worth of nightmares haunting his sleep, the memory of the moment fueling the fire of his revenge – her fingers trailing over his face and the words of love expressed to him right before the light went out of her eyes and body.

"I love you" Killian whispered. _Finally_.

Milah smiled brightly at Henry and Emma, and then with a final watery-eyed smile to Killian, she turned and walked into the light. Finally, at peace and re-joined with her son.

Killian walked back towards Emma and Henry, the boy offering him a little smile before he turned to walk towards Rumple who was waiting outside.

Emma sighed before she slipped her arms around his waist, her cheek pressed to his dead heart. He buried his hand in her golden locks as he dug his chin over her head, the tears finally falling down. Emma felt the shivers trembling from his body and tightened her hold on him, running her hand soothingly over his back, knowing he needed to let the emotions out and mourn.

Once the trembling stopped, she looked up at him, her body still leaning on his.

Brushing the tearstains away from his scruffy cheek she whispered, "Let's go home, Killian, I have a promise to fulfill."


End file.
